I just got home from hearing the mass and eating out with my family. It was funny that the table we had occupied can accommodate six people. So there was an empty chair across from mine and it screamed its idea so loudly to us. Dada was telling tales about the family's past eating adventures and they were of fondest memories. So, anyway, I was actually listening to the homily and the priest was preaching about having a lot of hope in any aspect of life. It's not wrong to feel sad but there should always be a reason to be happy no matter how tough things are.
2007 was a rough one for me, generally but I'd also like to note down all the things that the year had imparted to make me who I am now.
I've tried a lot of different jobs this year. I had left behind my first job and the family that came with it. And yes, I also got the chance to do my dream job at a music company but I let it go. At those times, I was thinking of something else that I thought was of major importance. I drove away my chances of a better career that opened its arms widely for me but still, I refused . I know I was wrong and sulking wouldn't do anything. Now, I realized that I should get a job I really want and love it. Put more time and effort in my work to be productive. I really want to be involved in something I am passionate about like writing because the truth is I really don't need a lot of money, I want fulfillment in what I do.
It always gives me a good feeling whenever I get to help others. I don't give great advice or insightful ideas to problems but you can always rely on me for comfort and support. I know I'm not the greatest friend there is but I'm different and loyal and loving. Oh, and this is not just to uplift myself. I know I value and love people deeply. You're lucky if you're my friend. ;p I realized that I am valued as a friend too. In the darkest of all the times I've had, solace wasn't so hard to find because they were there.
More than anything, 2007 taught me the idea of not being afraid to love greatly and be loved above anyone in return. That when asked why I love this person, I just shrug and give a smile because there are no words to really explain it or I could give a million reasons why and still give a million reasons more. A love that is defined by real friendship. The kind of love that inspired me to be better and that I know I'll stay that same good person for a lifetime because other than myself, someone believed I am. A love that sees through everything, even pain. I know and I feel that I made this person happy and important. I also know that he's become a better person because of me and that is called an achievement. I have no regrets for this kind of love.
2008 might be even harder but I should be tougher. I have to have hope. I have to have faith. No matter how ugly things are, there will ALWAYS be a reason to smile and it doesn't hurt to cross my fingers, close my eyes and make a wish.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
